Bullies in the workplace: Anger Management in the workplace

Recently I wrote a piece on this topic for Times of India Ascent, which was running it as a competition on "Voice of HR" and the piece came out a winner.
The link to the page with the winning article is here.

The idea to write in for this topic came from another project I had undertaken last year which was used for another newspaper report. This came in the form of questions to be answered. Since it was not printed as is, I think I have the right to reproduce the full question answer series here. This was on Anger Management but it also deals with the subject of dealing with bullies of all sorts in the workplace.
Given some workplace situations and how best to tackle them.

SITUATION ONE: WHEN A CO-WORKER REFUSES TO COOPERATE

·         What is the immediate reaction?

The immediate reaction might be anger and a feeling of revenge. One might even take it to the next level and talking to the supervisor to mediate and solve the issue.

·         How should you actually react?

Refusal to cooperate might just be stemming from a lack of communication or from a conflict of interest between two people. One must try to gauge if there is a feeling of competition or fear of the other person being better. One might be trying to just do a good job but the perception of competition might create a conflict.

In such a scenario, one might want to resolve the conflict of interest. Keeping in mind the other persons needs, wants and desires, one might want to back off for a moment to see if there is a lack of training involved, or if there is any real issue. If the issue is only fear, then one might want to allay the fear by identifying the other person’s interests.

·         How do you do damage control?

The best way would be to show empathy and to align both people’s interests. A frank talk about the conflict of interest might solve the issue in an amicable fashion.

·         What should you definitely not do?

Definitely not increase tensions by taking it on ones ego and increasing the miscommunication. Not to strain the relationship further by not talking about it or by talking about it to others.

  

SITUATION TWO: WHEN YOUR BOSS SHOUTS AT YOU FOR NO FAULT OF YOURS

 ·         What is the immediate reaction?

One might immediately think of harassment. One might think that one’s boss is bullying. The immediate reaction may be anger and frustration. One might think of resigning or even shouting back.

·         How should you actually react?

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If it is a genuine case of harassment or bullying, the first reaction should be no reaction at all. If it is a regular incident, one can gather evidence to support the claim and then take it to a higher authority. One can even garner support from colleagues and fellow supporters.

If however, it is a one off case, and not severe or lasting, one may bring it to the notice of the boss. If the boss had no intention of hurting, he/she would immediately understand if an explanation is given to the innocence of the victim/ employee.

·         How do you do damage control?

Communication is essential. If the issue is harassment or bullying, help should be sought. Otherwise, there should be free and frank discussion with the boss about the behaviour which might dissipate the situation. In case of an apology from the boss, the employee may be gracious in acceptance.

·         What should you definitely not do?

Make false allegation of harassment. If the case is one off and not severe or lasting, this might result in the termination of employment for false allegation. One should never lose ones cool and shout back at a boss. One should also not stay silent and let him/her get away with occasional abuse.

SITUATION THREE: WHEN YOU GET A WORK-RELATED CALL ON A VACATION

·         What is the immediate reaction?

Resentment and frustration may be the result of work spilling on to weekends or vacations. 

·         How should you actually react?

It is now a common thing to be working on weekends or vacations for many. Sometimes if the vacation is quite long, more than 5 days or so, one might be expected to clear ones mailbox periodically. Also one should realise, people do not remember differences in time zones or movements of others all the time. If it is urgent, try to delegate the work to someone in the know. If it is not urgent, one may want to remind politely that one would deal with this once he or she is back.

·         How do you do damage control?

This is not a potentially damaging situation. If it is very urgent situation which require only ones own involvement, then one needs to put in that work. Otherwise one may either delegate or push the work till the date of return to office.

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·         What should you definitely not do?

Shut down all communication especially if it is a long vacation.

SITUATION FOUR: WHEN YOUR COLLEAGUE IS RUDE/NASTY TO YOU

·         What is the immediate reaction?

Shock or anger. If the behaviour is chronic then it might lead to bad relationships with the colleague. Take it personally.

·         How should you actually react?

React with dignity. Talk to the manager and explain the situation with objectivity. With the colleague, act with confidence and say that this behaviour is not professional and not appreciated. Remember that it is not personal.

·         How do you do damage control?

Damage control has to be usually done by the rude colleague. Communication is key with one keeping line managers and HR in the loop about chronic rude people. Otherwise, just a frank talk should suffice.

·         What should you definitely not do?

Be rude or nasty in return. Talk behind the colleagues back.

SITUATION FIVE: WHEN YOUR COLLEAGUE TAKES CREDIT FOR YOUR WORK

·         What is the immediate reaction?

Frustration and anger. 

·         How should you actually react?

One should always keep a written record of one’s work. This should be shared regularly with the manager at intervals. For credit thieves, one should tackle them directly and correct misconception with colleagues and seniors.

·         How do you do damage control?

Again, communication is required. One should clear misconception among others about the work. One can also talk to the colleague in question and ask him or her to stop the behaviour.

·         What should you definitely not do?

Talk behind the back of the perpetrator. Spread rumours.

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SITUATION SIX: WHEN COLLEAGUES BITCH ABOUT YOU BEHIND YOUR BACK

·         What is the immediate reaction?

Feeling offended, angry and reacting by saying something in return.

·         How should you actually react?

Usually not to react is the best reaction. The gossip monger/s should be tackled with dignity. It is also important to laugh about oneself to make the situation light and diffuse it. Also one may keep a distance with these colleagues. Remember people bitch when they are jealous of ones success.

      ·      How do you do damage control?

Deal with any rumours being spread by making it clear to all that the behaviour will not be tolerated. If it is a potentially harmful rumour then one should talk to the person it may reach and harm you most, and clear the air. Otherwise ignoring such behaviour is the best way.

·         What should you definitely not do?

Spread gossip or bitch in retaliation.